Outcast
by Frustrated Bookworm
Summary: I mask my happiness with indifference. I hide my gratitude with aloofness, I build a wall around my feelings to never be attached. People oftentimes judge others based on what they see from outside, they don't bother what story comes along behind every façade, and for that reason, I was an outcast, unwanted and alone. /One-shot


Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice.

Author's notes: I decided to broaden the genres that I could write so I tried out angst. And because I hadn't tried Hotaru's perception, here it is. Kindly point out the mistakes I have made in your reviews :)

P.S.: Beware of the depressing story ahead, it might not even be your type of fic.

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**Outcast**

_BY: Frustrated Bookworm_

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They thought it was easy, being the ice queen, holding a reputation that I never knew existed until I heard them whispering behind my back. I am the youngest person who ever made it to the Japan's wealthiest people's top five. Most are envious, and others are indifferent. They don't like me, my presence scares them, though I don't know why. I spent twelve years studying in Alice Academy, but I never made a single friend, whenever I'm around, they grow quiet. As if every single thing they are talking about was me, and now that I am to be seen, they have nothing to gossip about. I don't understand them, I don't understand why they like to chitchat about nonsensical things and procrastinate. All my life, I haven't wasted a second, time is what matters most. I'm observing them for quite a while now using my countless inventions and I have noticed that they don't have priorities, they just do what they want.

They say I'm cold hearted, but how can they conclude something like that about me? I don't even go out much, just when television personnel invites me to have an interview with them. Individuals can't see me for who I truly am, but they kept their mouths open to condemn each of my move. I donate to multiple charities for the orphans, but they always disregard the good things that I do.

Witch, they call me, just because of a single fact that I don't talk with other people unless it's required. I'm not bad nor good, but I'm trying so hard to be what everyone seems to be. I failed, that much was clear.

They say I'm security freak just because I have four bodyguards with me, but how can they not know that few months ago, three people in consequent days tried to take my life away? It's been broadcasted nationwide. Did they assume that I don't value my own life? How absurd.

They hate me more than they hate criminals, why? Because I declined to help the unemployed ones? Because I always say words that only compassionless people would say? They don't clear it out, it isn't transparent and I don't know what to think of. In things like this, my mind is blank even though my IQ is past one-hundred and twenty.

I have a clean emotional state, but I mask my happiness with indifference. I hide my gratitude with aloofness, I build a wall around my feelings to never be attached. People oftentimes judge others based on what they see from outside, they don't bother what story comes along behind every façade. Because if they do, these questions will never be lingering around my mind.

If I tell them that my brother doesn't want to see me even if I tried so hard when I was a child, will they comprehend my remoteness?

If I tell them that my biological parents sold me off so that they could gamble, will they see a fragile and vulnerable girl inside?

If I tell them that I am alone ever since I turned thirteen, will they accept and care for me?

If I tell them the things I was frightened of and opened up, will they not criticize me?

I am taught to be alone, to be independent, because sentiments should never be acted upon, that they would destroy everything you worked hard for. But if society doesn't accept a person like this—like me—then isn't that their loss? Because in this world, there is only black and white, nothing in between and if that means that I have to be on the black side to fit, then so be it.


End file.
